So, here’s the thing, and it’s likely a ‘thing’ most parental units go through.
My spawn, my Connor, my boy … without exaggeration or motherly boasting, he is truly one of THE smartest people I know. (He’s also pretty handsome.)
“Ya, ya, you’re his mom, of course you’re going to do nothing but shout to the world how great your kid is, he can do no wrong, yadda yadda.”
See, that’s not what this post is about. This post is about the BUT.
He is one of the smartest people I know, BUT, he is also one of the most absent-minded and laziest (when it’s something that bores him) kids on THE PLANET. To the point it drives me bonkers. We’re not even talking doing homework here, people. We’re talking benign, brainless things a 10-year old should have no issues with, like brushing his teeth, combing his hair, making sure he puts clothes on that still fit (groan).
There comes a point when you can’t hound your kid about this stuff day in day out. He needs to learn to self-manage and gain some accountability. Yeah, them there are big words when you’re talking about a 10-year old. However, I firmly believe that when kids are in their tender years they need to have these values instilled. They need to learn to care about themselves, have pride in their appearance, and be responsible – all on their own. If we nag at them constantly they’ll truly never learn.
I did some research on the Google and the Pinterest on ways to help children become more responsible, and while my solution isn’t nearly as pretty as those posted online given my 15 minute time investment, it does the trick – and does it well.
Voila, the chore board.
The idea is simple. There are little cards listing things he needs to accomplish, and these are hung in the “To Do” section of the board. We have a colour code system in place: yellow cards are daily things (brushing his teeth, making his bed, practicing guitar and French, helping feed doggo, etc.); orange cards are occasional tasks I include at my discretion (things like vacuuming, trying a new food, helping to make dinner); and green cards are things he really needs to work on that I’ll stick up there to remind him of when he’s slipping (such as using his ears, and arguing for the sake of arguing).
When he’s completed a task for the day, he moves it from TO DO to DONE. The goal here is to not tell him which task can be done and when. It’s to let HIM check his board, decide what needs to be done, and become accountable to himself to get it all finished. If he moves every item down over the course of a week – winnah winnah winnah, he gets some cash. That does NOT hurt his motivation. Kids love money.
“Geez Maddy, that seems stupid-simple. Does that even work?”
Yes, yes it does. I wanted to wait a few weeks before writing this blog so I could test the chore board out. I can say, with loads of pleasure and without a doubt – it works. It’s fascinating, really. From day 1 he was into the idea. I would catch him staring at the board, looking through the items he had left, and then he’d come to me to let me know his strategy for getting the next three items completed and moved to DONE. The key here is this: WE as parents, loving our cherubs as much as we do and wanting to help them succeed, CANNOT interfere or remind them of anything. If we interfere it defeats the whole purpose.
The change I’ve seen in Connor is staggering. He’s becoming the responsible little man I always knew he could be. He is teaching himself to remember to do the boring tasks he always tried to get out of. He feels insanely accomplished when remembers to do things all on his own, without me harping at him. He is accountable to himself.
Granted, he’s by no means perfect.
“Where’s your hat?”
“What hat?
“The hat you took to school.”
“It’s in my bag.”
“No, it’s not. That’s why I’m asking you.”
“It’s in my room.”
“Again…no.”
“Did I bring it to school? Which hat?”
AHHHHHHH!
But…baby steps. 😉
Let me know if you’ve tried a chore board before and how it worked out for you! Or if you have any other ideas, I’d absolutely love to hear them, too! Leave a comment below and let me know!