Anyone that knows me is certain of three things.
1 – When it comes to friendship, I do not give up or let go easily.
2 – I say it like it is. If you want my opinion expect it to be honest, but kind, with only good intentions at the core.
and
3 – I CANNOT stand two-faced people. (Finally, what this post is about!)
Unfortunately, these two-facers seem to be a-plenty, especially in this digital age. It’s so freakishly easy to say something in confidence to someone, and then post the exact opposite on social media – or vice versa. When you see a friend do that, it’s like a parasite has wiggled into your brain, making you rethink everything that person has ever said to you! You wonder if they’re talking behind your back too. Losing trust is a terrible feeling, but what can do you do?
Below are some things to keep in mind when dealing with two-faced people.
- Recognize you are dealing with a phony. Acknowledge the fact anything you say can and likely will be used against you and keep your guard up – always. Keep personal information to yourself, as well as your goals and aspirations. And most importantly, nix the gossip. It will undoubtedly come back to bite you in the ass – hard.
- Do not, under any circumstances, try to beat them at their own game. You’re better than that – do not stoop to their level! If you feel you’ve been done wrong and want to address it, then do so – calmly – and discuss it in an adult manner. Being direct and expressive is always the best tactic, so long as you aren’t being a jerk about it. Clear the air, and don’t go into it aggressively. Be honest about your feelings and make sure you have gathered your intel before running in and accusing anyone of anything.
If you have cleared the air and reconciled, still keep in mind who you’re dealing with and keep that wall up, lest it happen again, but be civil. Holding a grudge allows that person to have power over you – power they do not deserve. Stay true to your self and be kind and courteous. That may even disarm the evil-doer and make them feel uncomfortable for having treated you so poorly in the past. It’s a win-win. Maintain your integrity.- If you feel clearing the air isn’t enough, and you are able to (you do not have the same social circle, or work with said person, etc.), get rid of them. I don’t mean hire an assassin! Just don’t talk to them anymore. If it bothers you that much when all is said and done, you simply do not need that stress in your life. Fade to black, and move on.
This last tactic is my fail-safe, and the one I tend to lean on the most. If I can’t trust you, if I have to remain guarded…why are we even friends?
Have any of you had to deal with two-faced people? What have you done to deal with the situation?
I want to hear from you!